its on

my chest feels heavy, my soul feels torn, my spirit feels like its been shattered.
Thoughts of betrayal flood my mind, pain as if though I've been stabbed, suffering feeling helpless. Thoughts like "your no good, its your fault" "why bother living, give it up, things will only get worse if you continue" are plaguing my mind.
pushing, and pushing, i keep on going, realizing my enemy is real, and that this isn't just something that i'm pretenening. There is something out there that wants me dead, do i give it what it wants? or do i fight the war for my God? Simple questions become as hard as figuring out red wire from blue wire. i hear my enemy shouting at me as loud as he can, but i hear my commander whispering sweet truth, his words are a soothing as cold water on a hot summers day.

The war is only getting worse and i feel like I've been shot in my stomach, do i put on the tough guy act and pretend nothing has happened? or do i act like a real man i crawl into the arms of my Lord?

2 choices, 1 answer. (one to death, other to life)

I choice life over death. (even though thoughts of suicide are in my mind, they are not my thoughts, but that of the demons that like to watch me suffer, God gave me a new heart why waist it by letting the devil have his way.)

Fight the flesh; with Jesus Christ, Fight the world; with the holy spirit; fight the devil; with God.

(let the showdown begin!)